Everything you need to know about the best Faire in the country!
Just across the Illinois/Wisconsin border, about 90 minutes from Chicago or about 45 minutes from Milwaukee, is a place that I can only describe as Nerd Heaven.
I’m speaking, of course, of the Bristol Renaissance Faire. Bristol is consistently ranked among the best Faires in the United States, often claiming the top title! Even if you’re a regular of the Faire scene, Bristol will blow you away! If you’re new to renaissance fairies, expect Bristol to ruin you for faires anywhere else!
The Bristol Ren Faire runs weekends from July to Labor Day, and it’s acres on acres of entertainment, food, attractions, shopping, and the best damn people watching you’ve ever done in your life! Costumes aren’t required, but highly encouraged, and you’ll see everything from tiny kiddos in velour knight and princess costumes, to professional cosplayers decked out in all of their finery.
There’s no one correct way to experience the Ren Faire, but as a veteran of Bristol’s scene (I’ve been attending annually since 2015!), here are the things I absolutely cannot miss every time I attend the Faire.
Entertainment
Let’s start with the entertainment! Quite possibly my favorite part of Faire, the entertainers that perform day in and day out are top notch professionals of every genre imaginable. Character performers share the stage with musical groups, acrobats and juggers, swordsmen, jousting knights on horseback, and everything in between. Many of the acts are
the same year after year, but laughing along with comedy routines you practically have memorized is just part of the vibe! Here are my favorites:
The Jousters: Live fully-armored Jousting and Tournament games! Yes really! Mounted riders tilt at targets and then at each other! It’s what Ren Faire dreams are made of! Stick around for the Joust to the Death at the end of the day for an extra action-packed adventure. Sir Max is the best. That's an objective fact.
Barely Balanced: This trio of juggling acrobats have graced Bristol’s stages for many many years and they never disappoint. Mind-bending human towers, feats of balance and skill, and corny comedy abound!
The Swordsmen: Dirk and Guido (who moonlight as some of the most famous teachers of stage combat in Chicago’s theater scene) give you swashbuckling comedy, gorgeously choreographed combat, and hilarious audience participation. If you’re visiting Faire with your partner, try to get them picked for the final segment of their show and thank me later!
Ship Shape: My absolute favorite of the musical acts that grace Bristol’s stages, this trio of amazing ladies put on their best pirate garb and sing amazing sea shanties in tight three part harmony. They’re truly astounding! Tell them Andi sent you!
And these are just my top picks! Wander faire and stop to listen to whatever grabs your interest. That’s the entire point of Faire!
Attractions
If you’ve always wanted to try out a renaissance weapon or two (and come on, you know you do!) there are booths all around Faire where you can shoot arrows, toss knives, or axes, or pick up fancy swords and have a knowledgeable bloke in period garb tell you exactly how they were used in battle.
You’ll also find carnival-style rides and adventures like zip lines and climbing walls sprinkled around the grounds, but my favorite are the weapons, because I mean come on.
Food Glorious Food!
The other best thing to do at Faire is eat! My best advice for food at Faire is to follow your nose! There will be more options than you know what to do with, so pick what sounds good (or what line you’re most willing to stand in, especially around the lunch hour!)
The most iconic of Faire foods is of course the turkey leg, and they’ll abound at Bristol. If you want to indulge in this iconic treat, Bristol’s got you covered! But you'll find everything at Faire, from meat pies and preztel dogs to fried mac and cheese or calzones or giant plates piled high with potatoes!
If you’re the kind of human that wants an alcoholic beverage or two at Faire, the treat I most recommend is a Faire specialty called the Robin Hood. They’ll be able to make it at most of the bar stations around the grounds, and it’s made by pouring a shot of cinnamon whiskey into a hard cider. The result is a spicy sweet beverage that’s absolutely glorious.
But I’m also going to tip you off on my two hidden favorites of Faire food: Sassafras and the Pickle Stands. Sassafras stands will be dotted among the food stalls, and it’s like root beer with a splash of licorice. It’s delicious, and best of all, it’s only a few dollars, making it one of the most cost-effective Faire drinks out there!
The pickles are very similar! There will be pickle stands all over Faire, and for less than $5, you get a giant, juicy pickle on a stick! You can choose between regular dill, garlic, or spicy, and they’re the cheap and refreshing treat you’ll be craving on a hot day at Faire.
And while we’re on that note, this is where I’ll tell you to bring a reusable bottle (or mug, or drinking horn…) to Faire. There will be water fountains outside the bathrooms, and having a cup you can refill at those stations will be essential staying hydrated without breaking the bank paying for water!
Shopping
Another amazing feature of Faire is all the artisans that come to peddle their wares! You’ll find costume shops, jewelry vendors, leather artisans, carvers, sculptures, chain mail and weapon creators, pottery shops… You get the idea!
This is another area of Faire where you need to let your heart be your guide. Browse anything that looks interesting, and keep an eye on your budget or you’re liable to go wild!
This is a great moment to mention that cash is king at Bristol. A lot of the vendors will take cards, but some won’t. And especially at the food stands, having some paper money in your hand will make everything go just that little bit faster. Come prepared, or hit one of the many ATMs sprinkled around the grounds.
But you didn’t honestly think we were going to get through this section without me telling you my favorite shops, did you? Here they are:
The Royal Fan Shoppe: handmade feather fans that are stunning and the perfect accompaniment to any Faire costume, or just a great tool for a hot day
Clove and Hive Honey: the gourmet honey shop of your dreams! Go early to sample their wares and choose your favorites before they get snapped up. They’ll hold your purchase for you until the end of the day!
Baltic Amber: gorgeous, reasonably-priced amber jewelry. Admire the astounding array of colors that come from amber and find your new favorite piece.
Dragon Tear Pearls: pick an oyster out of a tank, have it opened in front of you, and have whatever pearls are inside put into a piece of jewelry! (don’t worry, you’re guaranteed at least one pearl!)
Serendipity: those gorgeous leather-bound notebooks you’ll love having and be afraid to ever write in
But the Best Part of the Bristol Renaissance Faire? Community
There’s no place quite like Faire. It’s full of nerds and agents of joy and chaos. Go once, and I guarantee you’ll be hooked for life. Dress up, pretend you’re in your favorite fantasy epic, and have the best day of your life at the Bristol Ren Faire.
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Love and Shenanigans,
Andi
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